Ex-members leaving experiences:

• It has been strange being an outsider to the Life Foundation. I say 'outsider' because that is what it most definitely is. Life Foundation members make it very clear in different ways that I am no longer considered a part of their 'family'. This happened almost immediately when I decided I was leaving and although I was asked to stay in touch, it became impossible to do so. I was accused of spreading lies about Mansukh Patel and the Life Foundation community and clearly warned that if I continued to speak about my personal experience, there would be consequences. Soon after this I experienced what it was like to be shunned by my community. I was totally ignored by people I had thought were genuine friends. The denial and lack of ability to peacefully resolve the situation left me feeling stunned. I had thought that an organisation who call themselves peace-makers would have been able to deal with a situation like this more honestly. Instead the response has been to blame and discredit ex-members in an attempt to stop people believing the truth they have been telling. (Ex-member 10+ years)
• I was a full member of the Life Foundation for a number of years and while it lasted they were the most contented years of my life. We were a very loving community and those I lived with were wonderful people. They still are. So what changed; so suddenly that I had no option other than to leave? The whole basis of trust and love for one another was shattered when I discovered, out of the blue, that Mansukh Patel, the guru I so much admired, had been having sexual intercourse with many of the 'sisters' over a period of years. This was against everything he preached: that we had to be celibate, as he declared himself to be, because this was the only spiritual path to follow if we were sincere seekers. The facts I heard were incontrovertible, told to me by sisters who had been directly involved. The stark choice I faced was either to remain in the community I loved, but from then on to lie, or avoid telling the truth, about the guru's behaviour - or to leave. I had to leave. What saddened me most was that those who had discovered what Mansukh Patel had been doing over preceding years had either been flagrantly lied to by the senior members who they had questioned or, if the evidence was beyond doubt, had had to accept the 'party 'line'. This was that he was such an advanced spiritual master that we could not even begin to question his behaviour. It was so far above our mortal understanding, we were told. Unfortunately, once they had accepted this need to compromise the truth these lovely people were not only trapped in an increasingly flimsy web of lies but they were also drawn into angry and aggressive retaliation against those, like myself, who chose to leave. We had all abandoned the guru and were therefore traitors. Only after I left did I discover just how many other people on the outside (previous members and close supporters of the Life Foundation), had left over the preceding years. They had went quietly and had not tried to damage the community they had loved - but they were prepared to speak the truth to those who asked or who clearly needed to know. If you are now in contact with ex-members you will know that the love we had for our former brothers and sisters has not changed. I am just desperately concerned how this cult, which is what the Life Foundation now has become, has led so many good people into doing things, and saying things, that are often so horrible. They cannot help behaving like this because this is what is constantly instilled into them. I think they desperately need help and if this means bringing all the true facts out into the open, then this is what has to happen. Despite all the good work they are known for, which I totally recognise, everyone must be told how their guru has now led them all astray and is a man who is exploiting their love and loyalty largely to serve his own ends.
• Like many others, I joined the Life Foundation with an open heart and full of enthusiasm, really believing it was a bona fide organisation. Only gradually over the years did I start to see the dishonesty and deception. I remember feeling an overwhelming sense of relief and freedom the day I left, but also sadness that so many other genuine and beautiful people had been duped by one man's desire for power, and they now believe - as I think he does - in his own illusions. Some good was done and many people have been helped, but the end never justifies the means, and the downward spiral of lying has been totally unnecessary. During the years we were constantly led to believe that we were "special" because of our membership of the L F : it took time to come to terms with the fact that I was no more special than Joe Bloggs shopping in Woolworth's, because the reality is that we are ALL children of God. It was hard to suddenly lose a large part of one's "family" : one day I was a beloved sister and the next I was being totally ignored by virtually all the members who apparently had no concern about how or where I lived and how I could manage financially when the L F years had eaten away all my savings. Being able to share experiences with other people who'd left was a real life-saver, and the support offered heart-warming. What have I learnt? I have taken back my own power, realising that I do not need anyone else in order to have my personal relationship with God. I am ultra - aware of power games going on around me in other groups and organisations, and I am determined never to give my power away again. To those still involved with the L F I send my love and compassion ; I can understand you because I too was in your position, blinkered and beguiled, unable to distinguish reality from illusion. I am still your sister, and I pray that one day you'll see things as they really are. (Member for over 10 years)
• I left with almost nothing. Fortunately I got a job and somewhere to live and started to rebuild my life, despite not having any support from any other direction. Finances were difficult for a long time and were not helped by the LF's refusal to return even a small fraction of what I had given them. I rebelled against everything that LF had stood for, even against ideals that had been 'borrowed' by them and that were in fact quite valid. Despite that, even after I had left I would have laid down my life for Mansukh and I was still dogged by a feeling that I'd made the biggest mistake of my life. Perhaps he was what he allowed everyone to believe about him. For years I felt that he was still influencing my life and was responsible for my inability to maintain friendships and relationships. After a very long time the illusion started to fade and a few times I dreamed that I came face to face with him and finally stood up to him. I have regained my life, but still feel 'different' to other people as a result of my time in the LF. I am also now very wary and cynical about trusting people or things that appear to be too good to be true. (Ex-member 5 years)
• I was a full time member of the Life Foundation for more than 10 years. The decision to leave was an extremely difficult one since I, along with most members, had absorbed the belief that it had taken me many thousands of lifetimes to have this opportunity to be in the presence of such an evolved spiritual master as Mansukh Patel. I had been told that if I left my guru (which was seen as a betrayal) I would also lose any chance of spiritual evolution or enlightenment in this lifetime and would most likely have to wait many thousands of lifetimes before I might have an opportunity like this again. My life would be wasted. Not only that but members of my family would be adversely affected and this would be my responsibility. So, you can imagine the dilemma I found myself in when I began to see the whole truth about Mansukh. In the last few years of my involvement, more and more incidences came to my attention - of lying and misleading members and the public. Of Mansukhs sexual misconduct with female members of the community (despite his insistence in members being celibate). Of the nature of what was once a spiritual community rapidly becoming a money making machine. I didn't want to believe what I was seeing and hearing and although I explored many examples of what I came to view as Mansukhs manipulation and dishonesty, I always gave him the benefit of the doubt. After all, the apparent good work that was being done with the World Peace Flame and the benefit that course participants seemed to experience was a big reason for why I was still there. But the final 'story' that I was told (by a trustworthy friend) shocked me so much I made the decision to leave immediately. Unfortunately, I am unable to state this 'story' here for legal reasons. Perhaps one day the public can come to know about it. I knew that I could no longer continue to support Mansukh and the Life Foundation community knowing what he had done. I tried to leave peacefully and sincerely, explaining some of the reasons why I felt it was time for me to move on. But it was a distressing experience since literally overnight, I became the enemy. Life Foundation members who had been my close spiritual sisters accused me of spreading lies about the community. Many assumptions were made about what I was doing and saying about my experience. Very quickly it became impossible to talk with Life Foundation members. I was fearful for my personal safety for a long time afterwards - I had been given a serious verbal threat and I didn't know what to expect next. I have since learned that these tactics are common in cults as an effective way of silencing people who leave. I now understand that members have no choice but to protect their guru - they have invested so many years of their life to him and their loyalty to him far outweighs any loyalty they might have to each other. (Member 10+ years)
• The relief I felt when I made the decision to leave was enormous. For so long I had felt split in two directions. One part of me wanted to stay and support my guru and believe in the good and positive things he initiated. I genuinely wanted my life to be worthwhile and to make a difference in a world that so badly needs peace. We were taught that our contribution to world peace was superior to others since we were supporting the mission of an enlightened being ie. Mansukh Patel. The other part of me just could not justify supporting a man and his organisation that repeatedly lied and manipulated at the core of their work. When the time came to leave, I was in no doubt whatsoever that I had made the right decision. I still cared deeply (and still do) about my brothers and sisters in the Life Foundation and would have liked to continue our friendships but suddenly it became impossible. Any trust we had for each other quickly dissolved and I was viewed as an outsider and a threat to them. I was threatened to prevent me from talking about my personal experience in the Life Foundation. It was a shock to personally experience what so many others had told me had happened to them when they left. (Member 12+ years)
• Since I left the LF I have had nightmares about them holding me prison, I have a hard time trusting people, and I felt I did not believe in the goodness of mankind at all anymore. I felt betrayed and fooled and so very disappointed in my best friends. I felt that if they, as a peace organisation, were not able to uphold love for each other than the human rase must be lost. (now I know better fortunately) (Ex-member 4 years)
• For a long time after I left, I found it very difficult to trust anybody. Even now, years later, I watch myself holding back from building friendships and getting involved with any group or organisation. I have had to work at rebuilding bonds with close family and friends since Mansukh and the elders of the Life Foundation discouraged (in both subtle and overt ways) spending time with family and friends. My health has suffered as a result of the pressure to work long hours and the lack of sleep. I am slowly regaining a balance of work, sleep and play but still feel guilty when I'm not working. I have felt deep shame for the part I played in the power games, deceit and manipulation. I have felt used and yes, abused by Mansukh Patel. And I have blamed myself for allowing it to happen. And I am working on forgiving myself too. Now I am beginning to see the part all of this has played in my own journey. But I fail to see how Mansukh Patels actions can heal the world. I can only hope that one day he will have the courage to stop the denial and acknowledge the damage he has done so that he can begin the process of healing that he personally needs. (Ex-member 10+ years)
• Having left the Life Foundation, I was immediately struck by how good it felt. The relief was huge. Getting away from the powerful hierarchy, politics and relentless workload has been amazing. I was also relieved to get away from the corrupt system of LF that I had to support. Just being there meant that one has to be a part of the lies and deceit and it was only when I left that I realised how much of an effort that was and how much energy is wasted on it. The downside was being shunned by those I believed were genuine friends. But now I'm enjoying rebuilding my life. (Ex member for more than 12 years)
• The biggest difficulty I had when leaving LF was the fear. Fear that I had made a wrong decision, one of the biggest decisions of my life. Fear about what might happen to me and my family now that I had betrayed my guru. Fear that I had now left the spiritual path and there was no hope for me. Fear that my life would be so empty, lonely and meaningless that it would be unbearable. Fear about what Mansukh and the elders in the LF were capable of doing to me psychically. Fearful that I no longer had his protection. Frequent fearful and traumatic dreams. Fear that I wouldn't be able to function in society, in relationships with friends and family or support myself financially. But as the months went by, I realised that none of these things were actually happening! When I examined where this fear was coming from, I started to see that much of what we were taught in the LF was based on fear. All of those things had been talked about over the years and I had taken them on as my own beliefs. So leaving has been a process of separating out and identifying where these beliefs have come from and discarding those that don't serve me anymore. I started to realise that the decision to leave was one of the best and life-affirming decisions I ever made. My family and I have remained strong and I have begun once more to find what nourishes me spiritually by listening to my inner voice instead of a man who claims to be a master. My life is fulfilling and interesting. I am doing positive and healing things that benefit the earth in my local community. I have friends that are supportive and genuine and we can be honest with each other knowing that we won't just be condemned or blamed. I have learned that fear and desire weakens ones energy field and those are the qualities that Mansukh Patel instils in people so that he is able to bind them to himself. I gradually realised that my dreams always had a positive ending in which I was able to speak my truth after years of confusion and reluctantly conforming to the expected behaviour in the LF. And I have been able to support myself financially. I know I have been fortunate. There have been many others who've struggled far more than I have to rebuild their lives. It saddens me that one man who declares himself to be a spiritual peacemaker has been able to have such a negative impact on so many peoples lives. (Ex Member for 9 years)