This report, or any part of it, may not be used in any way or duplicated. It can only be used with the specific written permission of the author. It is a personal report and no legal rights can be claimed through it. It simply aims to give further information about the Life Foundation and to further the discussion about this organisation.
Life Foundation (LF) is known as a peace organisation, by itīs Eurowalks in the 1990īs, by itīs World Peace Flame and the World Peace Flame monuments. Their plan is to establish such monuments all around the world in prominent places, such as the one that has recently been publicly erected in front of the Peace Palace in den Haag. To my knowledge further monuments are currently planned in Prague, Berlin, the European Parliament in Brussels and even Hanoi.
The LF has formalised a specific form of Yoga, Dru Yoga, a heart-centred and flowing yoga style and the so-called, Dru meditation. They run various courses including yoga and meditation teacher training courses.
LF has itīs mothercentre in North Wales, near Bangor, Great Britain and runs itīs own course centre there, a healthfood store, Dimensions, and they have several houses in the area. They work worldwide and are specifically popular in the Netherlands and Australia.
The following websites belong to the Life Foundation:
www.lifefoundation.org.uk
www.worldpeaceflame.com
www.druyoga.com
www.lifefoundation.nl
www.headandheartsolutions.com
www.dimensionshealthstore.com
www.lifefoundation.plus.com
www.flamesoffriendship.org
My personal story
In 1988 I joined the Life Foundation (LF). Here, I finally found people who were fully living their ideals, which were also mine. I felt they were looking in the right direction for a positive change in the world to happen: to change ourselves. They were not blaming others, the government, the society or circumstances but were sincerely concerned to find what they themselves could do to improve any situation. For me, even today this is a very important principle. It is the core of a truthful and powerful way of living.
They were also doing spiritual practises, individually and communally. We were doing practical things to contribute to society and help people: e.g. we organised containers of food for Bosnia during the war, collected shoes for people in Moldavia. We also did Peace walks, where we walked from place to place as a group for periods of time, giving seminars on route, which I found very powerful.
The unconditionality of the people we met was refreshing for me and day and night, we were ready to serve our common ideals. This created a great inner freedom, as one was not caught up any more in one's own inner emotional and psychological turmoil and problems, but we were doing something positive together!
The simplicity of the lifestyle was also refreshing for me - for many years I was sharing a room with several other women. We all only had a few cardboard boxes to contain our clothes and other bits and pieces. Each of us had a small personal shrine and at night we would roll out our mats and sleeping bags in our corner of the room. During the day the sleeping gear was cleared away and the room could be used for work, meetings, etc.
It was a good time, a good 16 years. I learned a lot about myself, other people, community, spirituality. I have had support and have done things I would not easily have done by myself (e.g. teaching, giving talks and interviews). I have experienced great love from people who believed more in me than I did myself. I have experienced people being truly selfless, putting the interests of others before their own - with joy and freedom. I have matured emotionally, in my personality and as a human being as a whole. I have found my self-confidence, am strong, positive and hopeful - just because I feel connected with myself and by that, also with others.
People in LF are good and capable. I am convinced that the good that has come out of the organisation is a credit to the selfless service of the members.
However - in the course of time I became more and more disillusioned: the humanitarian projects were only one-offs and became less frequent. The detraumatisation work for people from war zones was done only by a few selected members of the team, whereas many of us had the skills and could have done much more to help others. Our job was simply to promote. After about two years the work was stopped altogether.
The walks turned more and more into car-drives as we did not really have the time to walk. The PR became more important. I remember one walk when I spent most days in phoneboxes ringing people from different address lists and the yellow pages inviting them to our seminars. One or two people would walk with Mansukh, the teacher (guru) of the organisation, so that for the PR and media we could say it was a walk. However most of us were just promoting.
Over the years the humanitarian work seemed to become a PR tool. For years there has not been any work done in war zones, but it is still heavily used by the Life Foundation in the profile of the organisation and its promotion materials. This "big talking about little doing" has felt very bad to me for long time. Therefore, several times I personally have done projects with friends (with the permission of the organisation) like collecting vegetable seeds for people in Bosnia after the war, collecting second hand bikes and sewing machines for projects in Africa, and I, personally and privately took up the work with a project in Chechnya, after LF has stopped working with them.
More and more our work was geared to rich and influential people. The reason that was given for this was the following: If people who have high positions change their lives and become more spiritual, through their influence they will affect more people and create greater change at large than when a simple person changes their life. Extra events were organised just for business people in the USA - and special products were created, for "special" prices of course! Due to this, the simple lifestyle I loved so much also changed. Everyone had to wear better clothes, many women started to wear make-up and coloured their hair and suddenly the outer appearance became more important.
At the same time we were still saying we were rooted in the teachings of St.Francis of Assisi and Mahatma Gandhi and the power of simplicity - in my heart I could not accept that Gandhi or St. Francis would have approved of what we were doing!
There was always never ending work and I always felt bad if I took a break or even wanted to meditate. At the same time we were told that we were responsible ourselves for our own balance. But in daily life one was always at full stretch and was continously asked "could you just..., please?" And because everyone was tired and exhausted, of course we wanted to help each other.
I also experienced that the leaders were continously tired. They were trying to help but I always felt guilty of asking for their help when I needed it. Sometimes I took work off them so that they could relax and recharge but I found they were doing something else - and were not resting. This was very hard for me as there did not seem to be a way out of the "always too much work situation." No way out for me, or others.
I realised that work simply was created; new projects were being lauched without planning at all, there was a lot of bad planning and due to that, enormous wastage of resources: peoples work, money, materials. Almost every LF project that I have been part of was run inefficiently and more importantly in my view, irresponsibly, regarding the use of resources. Even at the time, I was feeling that and often pointed it out. The way the management was working and structured was totally unclear. And there were some people in the community that were trained in management, were very skilled in that field and could have managed the organisation much better but they were not allowed to. So there was no way for me to instigate changes. I felt exploited and got to the point of saying to myself: "I am not taking this anymore." I was there for my spiritual growth and if there was no time and space for contemplation, and I always fell asleep out of exhaustion when trying to meditate, I did not want this. Therefore, in the last few years I certainly was a bit of an outsider in the community and often I was made to feel this subtly but also directly to my face.
It was very painful to me to note again and again how, because everyone had so much to do - at least I believed this to be the reason - there was not a real good human care for needy people such as ill community members and elderly ones. Everything was running at the speed of 140 m.p.h and whoever could not keep up, very quickly felt left out. One did not receive up to date information, one was being forgotten to get invited to meetings or celebrations - staying part of community running became a really difficult task and a great effort. Those who had influential friends, or if they were at the top of the hierarchy, had more support when they were ill than the average community member. People who could not keep running at a fast pace just did not have a valued place in the group. I have seen several people leaving the LF for that reason.
The most difficult thing for me was the helplessness within the organisational structure. We were told that it was our organistion and each one of us was responsible for it, but in practical terms there was no way of inducing changes. It was very hard to know how and where decisions were being made. At some point a democratic grassroots system seemed to be put in place, but in reality the orders, changes, and instructions actually came from somewhere else. Therefore there was no clear point to address questions and problems to. I used to give my question/criticism/problem to one of the elders (those in the top of the organisation and the inner circle around Mansukh Patel, the guru) and perhaps I would get a reply, but more often, not.
Over the years I did however realise that all decisions were being made by Mansukh Patel personally. Even those that had leading roles like directors, project managers etc. were totally at his command. They could run the work themselves but if Mansukh wanted anything different he simply over-rode them and their views. I have myself witnessed several times, people in their respective positions putting really good moves into place which would create beneficial changes for the community members - and Mansukh came along and told them to stop. And they did immediately. I felt so sorry for them! I am sure that if certain people had been allowed to run the community, the conditions for the members would be much better there.
Mansukh does have a talent to lead a group and he has good knowledge of how to lead people. He is considered to be spiritually very advanced and could help people emotionally and psychologically (today I am very critical of this skill!). I have many times asked the elders to get Mansukh to have a one-to-one meeting with each community member (some of the members had a personal talk with him only every so many years) at regular intervals (something LF routinely used to do on their courses). The reason I asked this was because I felt it would help the management of the group if he knew what was going on for everyone - and it would help everyone personally if they had his spiritual guidance. Many of us were going through great inner turmoil in a work-dominated day and extremely intense community life and it was a really hard life for us. This request was not welcomed and I was simply told that if he wanted to do so, he would. It was one of my many attempts to create changes in the group - but every one ended in the same way. And slowly I had to realise that changes were not welcomed and that, in fact, there were different values and ideals ruling the community than I was made to believe.
Mansukh always was an incredible stress factor - and the whole thing was meant to be about love for the teacher?! Whenever he appeared somewhere, everyone rushed into action - we were cooking, cleaning and there was tension. When he was there I was never relaxed and at ease. There was always the feeling of having to be particularly good or perfect. Also, there was a sense of having to be careful not to do something "inappropriate". When I gave him a gift (the gift-giving is an important practise in the Indian tradition) it had to be something exclusively special. Often I didnīt give anything as I had not found anything that was worthy of him - but no gift wasnīt good either! He always told us to love each other as much as we loved him. For many years I believed it was his disciples that created the atmosphere and energy around him making him unreachable and superhuman and that they were putting him on a stage - but that he himself didnīt want this at all. However, I came to learn that he was very much stimulating this and was even putting certain things into place to make it happen! He has an incredible speaking skill to manipulate everything so that it serves his goals. So well, that people feel deeply moved by him and believe it is the highest truth!
LF definitely has a hierarchical structure. The democratic grassroots system which was put into place, is in reality not being used and seems to serve an alibi function. Mansukh is at the top of the hierarchy and then follows the gurus he himself has appointed. There is a coloured robe system going down from red, yellow, white and various different shawls. All of them symbolise certain personal commitments and vows and are given in a blessing or initiation. As is usual in traditional Indian ashrams (spiritual centres) vegetarianism, abstaining from drugs, alcohol, sex only in a partnership, or celibacy are general rules of the LF community. As you move higher up in initiation, and in the hierarchy, the vows to the community and the teacher become more detailed and refined.
Most of the commitments were unwritten. My first initiation was not even announced to me beforehand and came as a surprise. I remember that in preparation for an initiation at a later stage, we had a meeting and we were informed about the commitments that we would be taking. I remember that I raised a question about one commitment as it made me feel uneasy. It was that we must always stand by the side of a brother or sister whatever they were doing or saying - even if it was wrong.
The members of the LF have no rights. Last year they all had to sign a paper in which they renounced all their rights towards the Foundation. They all work as volunteers, get little pocket money and no pension. It might not be a problem when you are in the community, but will be a big one when, after 15 or 20 years, someone decides they need to move out.
In the summer of 2003 a rumour reached me that Mansukh had been having sex with several of his female devotees. This rumour had appeared from time to time before and seemed to be circulated by those ex members who felt hurt and disappointed about the LF. This time I decided to find out the truth behind it. I talked to various women who had left the Foundation who had experienced it themselves and had found it very difficult to deal with (though certainly there will be women in the LF who love going to bed with him). I learned that from the very beginning of the organisation this had been Mansukh's habit. It was a big shock for me and shattered my belief that we were a celibate-based organisation and that Mansukh was just a loving, faithful married father of three children.
There was no way of talking about it to Mansukh himself - some of his female students, knowing how I felt, made sure that I was never alone with him so they could control the conversation. (One of them told me straight that that was her strategy to protect him from awkward questions from me.) I talked about it with one of the elders and said that I felt it was really time to stop denying that he was sleeping with his women followers, so that the hurt and pain, the guilt and denial could stop and the whole thing could be cleaned up. I said that until it was cleared up it would always come back at them. The elder, in response, explained to me that it was impossible to admit as people would only think that he was having common sex and lust, but what he was really doing was quite different. He only did it to help the girls spiritually, she said.
Twice Mansukh has groped my breasts. Both times very unexpectedly. And I simply froze out of disbelief and shock as I just could not place what was happening to me - he was, after all, my spiritual teacher! Over a long period of time these experiences have given me mental and emotional problems and I have never talked to anyone about it.
Over the years I realised what was really going on within the internal structures. For about 8 years I lived in the LF centres in North Wales near Bangor, and for the next 8 years I lived on 'outreach', as it was called, outside the community. I stayed as a guest in other peoples houses or in my own rented places. This gave me some distance, time and space to reflect and question what I saw was going on in the organisation. After many attempts to change things, to stimulate ways of reconciliation, to change the approach to ever-returning conflicts and to establish clarity, I had to realise that it simply was not wanted. I would do better to put my energy somewhere else rather than into a dream that was already dead. So the time had come to say farewell. And I wanted to do this properly as we never had said farewell to people who were leaving. We had never openly thanked them, never released them properly even though vows and commitments were considered binding for us, and to each other. Most people that have left, suddenly disappeared and when I had asked the leadership where they were, it was said it was for personal, private and family reasons why they had gone, or they were taking a sabbatical - from which they simply never returned. There wasnīt really time to enquire into it properly anyway...
When I actually said good bye to Mansukh, thanking him and telling him that I wanted to release him from his personal commitments to me so we could be free from each other, he suddenly lost control and attacked me physically, several times, over a period of about 20 minutes. He was shouting and swearing at me and being very violent. He even nearly strangled me, so hard that you could see the bloodfilled imprints of his fingers on my neck for many days after. And three of the elders - amongst them one woman who I very much had appreciated as a guide and friend over the years - were just watching it happen, not helping me, even when I asked for help. Maybe they were afraid that Mansukh's anger would turn on them...
I reported this incident to the police, but as is the case with many crimes, although it was fully investigated, it had to be filed away due to lack of evidence.
I remember very well a teaching we received once: the scriptures say, that there are sometimes exceptions to having to speak the truth. One is to save someone's life and another is, to protect the guru.
So, what else could I have expected of the three witnesses?
My criticism also goes to the inner circle around Mansukh Patel, the elders and gurus that he initiated. They are prepared to cover for him, to lie for him, to manipulate facts, to blackmail people - and three of them stood by watching when he attacked me physically. The paradox is that on stage in front of 2000 listeners, in the media and within the community they are all projected to be the great peacemakers of today and Mansukh Patel as "the young Gandhi".
My criticism also goes to all the members of LF, because they are prepared to take a lot of personal suffering and they are prepared to watch other members suffer in the belief that it is OK because everything that comes from Mansukh is divine - because God and Guru are the same. This for me is clearly denying one's own responsibility, one's own inner morals and values and the voice of the inner heart of compassion. Yes, it would surely need some courage to speak up..
Conclusion
Groups with a powerful leader often can generate an enormous communal energy and power, which also can aid spiritual growth. This would surely be positive!
Therefore one should be very careful, when in the teaching and/or the practise of the group, the word of the guru becomes the highest law - as happens in LF with Mansukh. Even in the Indian tradition this is not meant to be so and it simply is a misuse of the so important teacher : student relationship. And - it makes one unfree.
Therefore I want to encourage everyone to search for other ways of living and believing - but stay closely with yourself. The highest reference point must remain within ourselves, in our hearts. To be able to hear the voice of our heart clearly might need a bit of space and silence - it is not our thoughts, our will, our feelings, our ideals, nothing from outside - it is softer and stronger at the same time - my inner knowing what is right, my inner guidance.
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I want to encourage everybody to go out and search for a lifestyle that is true to themselves and to try new ways without fear. In my understanding today, however, it remains very important to make our choices very consciously. When I consciously enter an experiment of living I will always grow by it and will learn a lot, even if I learn this is not the final way! If I just follow what others are doing, blindly accepting what I am being told and adopting values without reflecting them in my own heart, then I am in danger of regretting, when I look back one day, about what I have done - simply because I was not then being true to myself.
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