"Tiptoeing downstairs, my heart pounding, I padded to the front door, terrified that somebody would see me and ask why I was leaving the house in the dead of night. Then I was outside. I didn't look back - I just ran as fast as I could, determined that nothing would ever persuade me to go back there...
Ten years ago, I did a yoga teaching course. Some of the others mentioned that they went away on spiritual breaks run by the Life Foundation and urged me to come. They explained that the foundation consists of about 60 members and their guru Mansukh 'Manny' Patel. They all lived together in Wales and had taken a vow of celibacy. At the time, I lived with my boyfriend, but I was only 30 and felt that something was missing from my life.
The residential courses cost £330 for seven days and £150 for weekends, so I decided to sign up for a weekend, hoping I might find some answers. The instructors told us how we'd all be much happier if we hot up at 6.30am to reflect on our life and look at ways to make it better. I realise now they just wanted to control us, but I came home feeling so positive. "I'm definately going back," I told my boyfriend, but he seemed uninterested.
We started to grow apart and finally our relationship broke down. I needed a new start, so I gave up my job as a nurse and joined the Life Foundation. They offered me everything I needed - which was, of course, just a way of manipulating me. They took away the need to make my own decicions. I worked in their health shop and was on the cleaning rota. I didn't make any very close friends as this was discouraged. Instead we were advised to confide in our elders.
We were sent onto the streets of the city to find new members. We were always told to look for beautiful women. It was only later that I realised why - one day a friend told me people in the cult were sleeping with some of the women. I was devestated.
That's when I ran away. And that's the reason everyone leaves - since last Christmas about 15 people have left. We all believed he was absolutely pure and then we found out differently.
The guru works on a process of slowly getting more intimate with the women, making them feel special - like 'chosen ones'. It's just a massive ego trip for him.
Since I've left, I've had a call from one of the elders who told me I was mad for leaving. I let him have his say, then put the phone down.
I was living with the Foundation for five years and a part of the group for 10. This will be my first Christmas in a long time when I'm free to do what I want.
Although I don't have a partner at the moment, I don't feel I need to look to others to make me happy. I've learnt to do that myself.
Behoefte om ook een berichtje in deze SIMPOS-rubriek te plaatsen? Dat kan via email aan ons.
home